Monster Mayham... by crewchief Lately people have been looking at me with this look of horror when they witness my admittedly bizarre excitement that the monster trucks are coming. "The Monster Trucks! The Monster Trucks! Ahhhhhhh!!! Omigod!!! Omigod!!! I'm so excited!!!!!!!!" is what erupted out of me when I saw the first commercial on TV. A friend looked at me with a mixture of amusement and confusion. "Are you serious?" she asked. "Gravedigger!!! Rollovers!!!! Demolition Derby!!!!! When is it - when is it - when is it?" I shouted! "Why in the world do you like Monster Trucks?" I've thought a lot about that question. Why would a left-of-center grrl like me love Monster Trucks? My conclusion is that it's a chemical reaction inside of me- an instinct, like any strong like or dislike is. Why my heart races and I get goose bumps is beyond any figuring out I could ever do (outside of learning about neurochemistry). I told some friends I liked them, "Because of their POWER!!!! And they're pretty!!!" Maybe there's just some random testosterone molecules dancing around in my head- I'd believe it. It seems to me that my most girly friends (including girly guys :-) are the ones that have the most difficulty understanding why in the world I love them so (they don't understand why I like Beavis and White Zombie either). All I know is that I love them and there seem to me to be lots of reasons why. So last "SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY" I found myself being magnetically pulled toward the Kingdome. I hadn't planned on going this time; last time I went to see them there they didn't do the rollover contest, which in my opinion is worth the price of admission alone. They take these little Civics and Pintos and run the left side wheels up a ramp at high speed and count how many times they roll over- they can roll as many as 7 times! Then they flip them back over and do it again! I thought I'd go the next weekend, all the way to Tacoma where I knew they would do the rollovers. But there I was downtown and I just couldn't help myself. Hell, I'd go twice! So I went in and perused the souvenir stand and bought a Gravedigger T-shirt and then found a seat among all the families and rowdy kids. A few people looked at me and smiled- they knew why I was there and I did too. That's when I heard the amazing loud roar of the engines and I felt the awesome power of those machines. That's what gives me goosebumps- the power of the machine. And these are the greatest machines we have made- big toys designed to look good and thrill. I was having so much fun and so many great things happened that I started writing them down. they're cool Cars are just cool unless they're little Pintos or Honda Civics (on no, now I'm going to get flamed by all the Pinto and Civic owners!). It's the American aesthetic. they're beautiful Part bad-ass rock and roll, part deliberate love and care. The artistry, the time, the brilliant shine - all contradict the muddy rough environment of the track. they're powerful Louder than Metallica, the sound of their engines on full-throttle penetrates every atom of your being. Loud, deep, full. the destruction Unexpected or expected, it's fascinating and thrilling to see mangled metal and hear that crunching sound while knowing that the people are probably safe, unlike on the highway. it's entertainment Over three hours of solid performing. An entire afternoon of fun. it's easy We are the good guys, they are the bad guys. Bad guys wear black and are from Canada. They aren't every good sports. We always win at the last minute! Rah Rah!!! it's hilarious All the cameras flash when the cars make the most noise. The motorcross riders have fake fights, slapping each other upside the head as they go around the turns. The drivers crack jokes when they're interviewed after that spectacularly good or bad run. Free samples of Stagg Chili. the common language For some reason, we all have the same standards of coolness. AC/DC and Van Halen (the old stuff of course) blasted over the sound system and the demolition derby cars were painted with the Tasmanian Devil, Beavis and Butthead and Bart Simpson. persevere or perish Cars in the rollover contest and demolition derby still drive with dangling bumpers and flapping tires. Get out the crowbar, pop out the frame, push it until it goes. If it doesn't, wave the bulldozer over. fire Fire! Fire! After the crowds had dispersed and the machines were safely in their pens, I walked to a club where I was doing a show that night. Every car, truck, train- they all triggered a feeling of connection and produced an adrenalin after shock. At the club, the sound man said, "Yeah, I have a friend that went yesterday- he said it was full of total rednecks! Like impeach Clinton and bomb Iraq!" Well you know what? We didn't talk about politics when we were there. That's the beauty of Monster Trucks - when you are there there are no politics, no conflicts, no issues- just camaraderie and laughter and awe. Maybe I would feel differently if I wasn't from Texas or was not able to "pass" so well, but I felt at home and safe. And thrilled.   Check out some monsters for yourself in the Greasergrrls Distributor...